Adoption update...I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER!!!

I have been debating on how I want to post this for some time now. About a month ago Jason and I were called by our caseworker and she told me that she wanted us to sit down with her and her supervisor. I thought it sounded kind of unimportant so I told her that we had plans that night so we could meet the next day . She proceeded to tell me that they needed to talk to us right away, preferably at 4:30 that same day. We went down to the agency and sat down with the 2 of them. Her supervisor (Kevin) tells us about a situation where a birth mom is pregnant, has admitted to substance abuse supposedly only until she found out that she was pregnant but since then hadn't used. He also said she "claims" that she's has been to the Doctor but the agency is unable to confirm that so the sex is unknown. And she also informed Kevin that she is in a lot of trouble with the law. He then tells us that they gave her a pile of 12 profiles to look through and that when she got to ours she held it and and said "THIS IS THE FAMILY FOR MY BABY". (That makes me cry every time I say it) Sooooooooo, he tells us to go home, pray about it, fast, go to the Temple and try to make the right decision. We leave the agency and Jason is all excited while I am extremely hesitant and not really feeling the same feelings as him. At this point I was nervous, scared, disappointed and pretty much freaked out. I kept thinking to myself, "everyone else gets this big announcement with flowers and gifts, an ultrasound and gets to meet their birth mom" while we are faced with this HEART WRENCHING decision and a birth mom that never wants to meet us." We mention it to our parents and try to take their advice. We went to the Temple, prayed and prayed and prayed. Finally after a story that Jason's dad told me and reading our p.blessings Jason and I realized that we should say yes to this baby and know that Heavenly Father won't give us anything we can't handle. So, our birth mom is due April 17th, so cross your fingers she sticks with her plan.We are ecstatic, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

P.S. oh yeah, on Friday we learned from Kevin that she has a warrant out for her arrest so if anyone knows where she is, I think jail is sounding like a good home for her at the time. :)